Connecticut Pets and Handlers began as a simple idea: create a space where LGBTQ+ kinksters in Connecticut could find each other. In late 2016, Pup Starlight launched a Telegram chat that would become the seed of something much larger than anyone expected.
The story behind that idea reaches back a little further. In late 2012, Starlight discovered the puppy community at the NYC Eagle. The pup scene was an offshoot from the leather community that had been growing into its own vibrant subculture while carrying forward the leather world’s deep traditions of trust, consent, and chosen family. Connecticut had nothing like it. That was the gap CT-PAH was born to fill.
In October 2016, Starlight founded the Greater New Haven Pups and Handlers alongside their pack and the local pups they had connected with since that first Pup Night. The community’s first major in-person gathering came in 2017, when Scooby, Mr Connecticut Leather 2017, hosted a PUPPY! event at 168 York St Cafe in New Haven. For many members it was the first time they had ever been in the same room as another pup, having only known each other online. That night mattered.
By 2018 the group had grown enough to take the name Connecticut Pups and Handlers, design a crest, and establish a moderation team for an ever-expanding Telegram community. The foundation was set.
Growing Into Something Bigger
In September 2019, CT-PAH stepped onto a larger stage with its 1st Annual Pet Pride Social, an unofficial part of Pride New Haven, raising $100 for the True Colors conference. It was a modest beginning for what would become a tradition of giving back.
The charity work deepened quickly. In September 2021, the 2nd Annual Pet Pride Social and Furry Pride Dance Party raised more than $750 combined for the New Haven Pride Center and the Trevor Project. That same year, CT-PAH had its own tent at PrideFEST on the New Haven Green, where members educated the public about petplay, complete with scholarly materials, and brought the community into the broader Pride conversation.
In November 2021, CT-PAH launched what has become its heartbeat: Pet Night, a monthly event at 168 York St Cafe in New Haven. The format was designed intentionally — part munch, where kinksters could arrive in plain clothes, share a drink, and connect through conversation, and part leather bar experience, where a pet could don a hood, sink into the mats, and let the noise and energy of the room fade into the background while playing in a different headspace entirely. It was the best of both worlds that had shaped Starlight’s own journey into the community. With Pet Night came a new name: Connecticut Pets and Handlers, reflecting a deliberate expansion beyond pup play to welcome the greater petplay community in all its variety.
A Community That Shows Up
What has defined CT-PAH in the years since is consistency and care. Pet Night has run every month since November 2021, becoming a reliable home base for LGBTQ+ kinksters across Connecticut. Around that monthly anchor, a calendar of beloved annual traditions has grown. Each October brings the Halloween Costume Contest, a fundraiser that has become one of the most anticipated events of the year. December closes the year with a Toy Drive and a Sip & Paint led by Ricky Mestre, Mr Connecticut Leather 2026, a longtime friend of CT-PAH whose artwork has graced our event raffles for years and who is a familiar face at Pet Night. Summer brings drag shows on the patio at 168 York St Cafe, celebrating the deep overlap between the drag and petplay communities and often raising money for LGBTQ+ causes in the process.
Over the years CT-PAH has raised thousands of dollars for organizations including the Trevor Project, the True Colors conference, GLAAD, and others — always showing up for the broader LGBTQ+ community the way that community has shown up for us.
Connecticut Pets and Handlers Today
CT-PAH has grown from a Telegram chat to a community of over 240 members drawn from across the state. Our events take place in New Haven, but our community is statewide and our mission has always been bigger than any one city.
In recent years Pet Night has become something we are particularly proud of: a genuine safe space for trans and queer people within the leather and kink communities. As petplay has grown in visibility and as trans and queer people have sought community in places that affirm and celebrate them, we have welcomed people from across Connecticut and beyond — including those who have relocated here seeking the safety and acceptance this state has to offer. That shift in who walks through our door has only deepened our commitment to the work.
We exist to give LGBTQ+ kinksters in Connecticut a safe space, a chosen family, and the freedom to be exactly who they are. We are proud to carry the traditions of the leather community forward — the trust, the consent, the deep bonds between pets and handlers — while building something that is joyfully, unmistakably our own.
Making Fetch Happen in Connecticut Since 2016.